I have a history of being someone who closes herself off and refuses to be vulnerable to anyone. The last person I let in completely was my best friend, and that was two years ago. In four months, he's going to college. While I know he's only going to be a six hour drive away, I still am starting to go through a minor freak out about it. He's being really sweet and trying to reassure me that nothing is going to change and in two years we'll be back in the same place. A lot can change in two years. A lot. It's not that I don't trust him, but there's no way a person can promise that things are going to stay the same. You just can't expect something like that.
Right now, it feels like I'm living with a ticking time bomb. Like in four months and twenty-three days, I lose my best friend. It's not what is really going to happen...I hope, but it definitely feels like it sometimes, and I'm a person who can't change the way they think about something when it's already gotten in my head a certain way. It's not fair to him, but I miss him already.
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