Dream

I'm hoping that at this point you all are starting to pick up on the fact that all of my titles of my blogs are song titles (with the exception of the first one, which was an artist's name). Most of those songs will give more insight into what's going on in my head than what I write. Today's inspiration: Dream by Priscilla Ahn.

For the last week or so, I've been feeling a little lost. I'm questioning every part of my life and all the big decisions I've made for myself so far. Maybe I'm just getting restless, which tends to happen when I feel like I could be doing something better with my life than going through 4-6 more years of school. I keep talking about all these "dreams" I have, i.e. music, but I'm just not sure if at the end of the day that is my true dream. It is definitely the one thing that consumes all of me and fulfills the voids, but when I stop playing or listening and just have the silence, everything is exactly the same as it was before the noise began.

"A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside. The one thing that you know if it came true would make all the hurt go away." -Glee

Yes, I just outed myself as a gleek, but this line from last night's episode struck me hard. I have dreams of playing my trumpet for a living because it's what I love to do. If I didn't, I would be wasting my time right now, but I can't say honestly that ALL the hurt would go away if it came true. It would come with its own set of issues and problems I'd have to figure out. So now I'm trying to figure out what my true dream is, not just my goals. They are very different.