Off balance doesn't even begin to describe how I've been feeling for the last couple months. I've had to really decide what I want to do and if I want to continue on with the major I committed to a year ago. Yes, there was a big reason for my re-evaluating, but I don't want to get into it. It wasn't until I was sitting in the audience at Gershwin Theater waiting for Wicked to begin, and hearing the first few notes that I knew I was making a mistake. I was instantly tearing up and by the finale I had tears streaming down my face. Music affects me that much.
The uncertainty has extended further than just my career goals, though. I fear that in the last few months I have changed into the person I really and truly am, and that may have affected a couple of my friendships. One for the negative. It worries me. A lot. I'm a worrier. I've never pretended to be anything else, but it's started to be a very bad thing. I don't know how to fix it. I think it's past fixing right now.
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